


love me and leave

by AnonymousStalkerFriend



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, F/M, kind of graphic description of injury?, lmao ignore me, mangling of cannon, this is for a harry potter discord thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-03-25
Packaged: 2019-10-25 22:22:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17733740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousStalkerFriend/pseuds/AnonymousStalkerFriend
Summary: Just some BOH angst don’t mind me





	1. the real Bad Shit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [merlinaes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlinaes/gifts).



There had been a battle.

He hadn’t known—he’d spent the last year across the world in America working with their version of the Department of Mysteries, on a project of extreme secrecy, living relatively cut off from the news of the European wizarding world. He spent months feeling restricted and isolated only wanting to do his job and get back to England and see his friends.

And there had been a battle. At hogwarts.

 

———

 

Rowan had been the one to tell him.

He’d  _ finally  _ finished his work with the Americans and had just flooded into the Mystery of Magic when the other man had found him.

Harried and frantic, Max could see him sprinting through a throng of panicked workers towards him—likely someone had told him that he was incoming through the floo network. His friend stumbled to a stop grappling onto the front of his clothing to keep from falling over.

He clutched onto Max’s front tighter, “T-there’s been and a-accident,” he stuttered gasping, “Hogwarts— Attacked.”

He could feel the color drain from his face, “What are you talking about? Hogwarts can’t be attacked— it's practically the safest places on the planet.”

Rowan pushes himself off of Max, “Well, it seems Voldemort couldn’t give less of a shit about what we believe.”

“Vol- he attacked  _ Hogwarts _ ?!”

“Last night. We don’t have any casualty numbers yet—But, Max. A lot of people died. On both sides.”

 

———

 

Over  _ fifty _ had been killed. Death Eaters and students and members of that Order alike.

Tonks was  _ dead _ , a baby left behind her and her husband.

Bill’s brother—one of the twins—had passed as well, barely a month past 20.

Ben—a timid boy a two years younger than him—had been killed. Sacrificed himself for his friend Elizabeth Keys.

Rowan’s little sister was in St. Mongos with a spinal injury.

And here he was. 

At Hogwarts surveying the destruction that had wrecked the castle only about three hours earlier.

Reports said that Harry Potter had lived, twice over the boy who survived now, having beaten Voldemort in a final confrontation in the castle.

Voldemort was dead. 

Hopefully he wouldn’t be coming back this time.

Sighing he trudged further into the forest, one of a legion of other volunteers searching Hogwarts’ for hexes and jinxes leftover from the battle and getting rid of them.

Most had been sent to survey the castle, with the help of Professors McGonagall—actually Headmaster McGonagall now he supposed—and Flitwick, and the grounds of the castle themselves.

And now all that was left was the Forbidden Forest which, if he was being completely honest, wasn’t exactly his  _ favorite  _ place on the planet.

He and the other volunteers, there were about fifty in total but only about twenty had been sent to search the forest, had clumped into groups of five and had spread out to try and cover more of the forest.

Random flashes light from the groups, both others and his own, were the only sign that anything was happening. No noise echoed the trees, no one spoke, so quiet it was that a pine needle could fall and echo with the volume of a cannon.

It seemed even the forest understood the bleakness of Hogwarts right now.

The work was slow going but considering they were under constant watch by centaurs, acromantulas, and thestrals among other things had so far been without incident. Not much had been found, mostly because the majority of the fighting had taken place in and around Hogwarts, but there were still spells spread here and there. The only left over bits actually in the forest had been from Death Eaters either trying to get away from Hogwarts without apparating or those who had been attacked by things in the forest.

In all honestly Max found this to be a waste of time, only agreeing to help after Rowan had begged him to so he could go and visit his sister. 

He wanted to get to his friends and help comfort them apologize for not being there when they needed him. He wanted to be there for them. Wanted to help them grieve. He wanted to be anywhere where he could be helping his friends and their families. 

Anywhere but  _ here. _

_ “AVADA KEDAVRA!”  _ A shout shocked him out of his stupor, his group screeching to a halt. 

Then they were running.

 

———

 

Minutes later he came upon five other people, evidently only two groups had heard the scream—his own and another, crowded around in a half circle near the trunk of a tree wide around as he was tall, whispering to each other.

Pushing through them he came upon a sight he’d never expected to see.

Three Death Eaters on the ground. 

The first dead, likely on the receiving end of the killing curse that had drawn them over, keeled over in a heap on the clutching their wand to their chest. Part of the mask missing Max could see their still wide eyes and that a chunk had been ripped from their face, teeth and the white of their jawbone visible from the missing space.

The second was frozen, crazed eyes flickering between them the only sign that he was in fact alive, in a way that told they’d been preparing to cast a spell before being hit with Petrificus Totalus and knocked over. Bleeding heavily from a gash down his thigh and a missing finger.

And the third. That one was still in the Death Eaters mask, passed out and collapsed against the mammoth sized roots of the tree. The most damaged of the three he assumed the other two had turned on this one at some point.

Maybe as a distraction so they could flee while this one was found dead?

Turning his attention fully to this one he began cataloguing everything he could see about them.

The only one with an intact mask, leaving them anonymous for now. 

Torn robes revealing damaged limbs. Left arm and been broken, bent at an unnatural angle with part of their forearm burnt, the dark mark only just visible above the blackened flesh. 

Right leg bleeding profusely from the point where their tibia had pierced their through their shin, visible skin growing more and more pallid as blood continued to gush.

Rushing forward he moved over to the third one. Dropping onto his knees next to her he called out, panicked, “Does anyone know a spell to fix this?!” Gesturing towards her leg as he said so.

A girl in the crowd came forward stuttering, snapped out of the apparent shock the others were under, “I-I know one that m-might w-work,” moving forward she settled next to him drawing her wand from her sleeve as she went pointing it towards the bone and wisphered, “ _ Crus Emendo,”  _ a deep blue light shooting from its end onto the mystery persons leg.

The bone slowly began shifting back into their leg. 

While the spell worked to mend the bone he could hear others getting to work on healing the worst of the wounds on man behind them and knocking him out before tying him up for return to Hogwarts.

Thanking the girl he shooed her away instructing her to apparate back to McGonagall and tell her that they had found three Death Eaters and were awaiting further instruction.

She nodded and the crack of the spell resounded across the group. He took a moment to search around the group of people around him. The other volunteers, eight of them now that the girl was gone, had focused their efforts on the other two felled Death Eaters leaving him alone with the masked one. 

They all looked rather young, the oldest couldn’t have been more than 19,  _ ‘Explains why they were all in shock instead of trying to keep them from dying,’ _ he thought. There was a good chance that these kids hadn’t seen this kind of damage up close before.

There was a small  _ click  _ and Max turned back to the Death Eater in front of him. It seemed as though the click had signaled the end of the spell, blood no longer gushing from the wound now at a sluggish pace instead.

He racked his brain for a healing spell and came up empty, he was an Unspeakable after all—he didn’t really have much use for healing spells at work, instead falling back on a simple, “ _ Reparo.” _

It’d leave a scar but he really didn’t give a shit about a Death Eaters looks. 

After all they were the reason he hadn’t heard from his friends in so long.

He turned his attention to the arm.

Badly burnt but not festering.

Not really anything he could do to help that.

Shrugging he moved into a crouch, reached over plucked the wand from their other hand, and pocketed it, ‘ _ Odd. Feels familiar.’ _ As he took it the masked figure grunted, fingers twitching at the loss of the wand.

He heard their breathing hitch as their damaged arm twitched, groggily turning their head to look at the appendage. There was a sharp inhale as they took in the state of their arm and the figure dropped their head against the tree behind them.

Max supposed he should’ve been worried about what might happen now that they had awoken but they didn’t feel all that threatening and well… not like they’d get far even if they did try and run.

The person's head lolled forward again seeking out… something before stopping on him.

Through the holes in the mask he saw deep green eyes.

They made eye contact with him and he heard a gasp as those eyes went wide, darting around his face seemingly terrified of him.

“Who are you?” Max asked, “Why did your comrades attack you?”

The figure shook their head.

He huffed, “We’ll know sooner or later and you’ll be going to Azkaban either way. Now answer me.”

The spineless Death Eater shook their head again.

“You don’t want to cooperate? Fine!” Angrily he reached towards the mask, the figure scrambling trying the best they could to get away without hurting themselves—not that they could really go anywhere a tree at their back and nine people surrounding them.

He grasped the intricately carved mask and ripped from their face, the figure whipping their head down hiding it from view as he did so. Their inky black hair fell to curtain them from view a singed chunk on the left side above their burnt arm.

Dropping the mask he grabbed onto the side of their face wrenching it up.

And he froze.

Face to face with someone he hadn’t seen in nearly three years.

Crying, eyes scrunched in pain and fear, and gaunter than he remembered.

But there was no mistaking that face.

He’d spent nearly half his life memorizing it.

He dropped his hand falling back onto his ass.

Her head fell back towards her chest. He could hear her quiet sobs now.

The third Death Eater was Akari.

His  _ girlfriend  _ Akari.

His soulmate was a  _ fucking Death Eater _ .


	2. Weird.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where everything is Weird.

Everything was dark.

_Am I asleep?_ She couldn’t tell.

_Dead?_ Equally as likely considering the circumstances.

The last thing she remembered was running through the forest dogged by Charles Rowe and Robert Carroll. She remembered she had found them about two hours after Mouldy had been killed, hiding on the outskirts of Hogwarts ground like the cowards they were. She remembered that she had been trying to persuade them to give themselves up _they’ll go easier on us if we turn ourselves over_ or something like that.

When that hadn’t worked she had hexed the other Death Eater who had been with them, a woman she hadn’t had the displeasure of meeting before, and shot a beacon spell into the air—to get the attention of those who were searching for them.

In retrospect probably not the smartest plan. However, in her defense she was running on zero hours of sleep, no food, and a desire to never see any of these fuckers ever again.

She thinks she’d just wanted to see her family again.

She thinks she’d gotten too impatient, _fockin’ obviously ya daft piece of shite._

Only problem was she couldn’t really remember.

She thought back and _huh._ There wasn’t really much to think back on now was there?

What did she remember?

She remembered her friends and family.

Remembered graduating Hogwarts and opening her store.

Remembered Max _finally_ getting the hint and asking her out. The absolute elation she had at being able to just _be_ with him after literal _year_ s of loving him.

She remembered joining the Order as soon as she was told it existed.

Remembered how the dread had filled her stomach, gripped her throat, and beat at her chest like a man on death row.

The horror she saw in the faces around her and felt in her own when she discovered the full extent of what Voldemort had done during the first war.

_It wasn’t her fault she hadn’t heard of it—she wasn’t from Britain._

And she remembered becoming a spy.

She’d been approached by McGonagall and had agreed practically immediately—the woman was like a second mother to her what else would she say?

She remembered the beginning of the infiltration. Pulling an Iákovos on her friends and family and the regret she felt at knowing she’d likely miss a good chunk of their lives. Contentment at knowing she would be helping to keep them safe.

And then there was a blank space—flashes told her she’d been a good spy, had reported back to the order often, done everything a good little spy was meant to do.

But for the most part years of her life we’re just _gone_ evaporated from her mind.

She thought back to the last thing she remembered.

She had been running through the forest dogged by Robert Carroll and Charles Rowe—the Death Eaters she’d gotten closest to—adrenaline flooding her system.

Ducking and weaving through the dark branches as spells flew around her one slammed into her leg and she stumbled pushing herself past the pain shooting another slicing hex over her shoulder.

She cradled her left arm to her chest as she ran the scent of death wafting up to her from the charred flesh curdling in her mouth as she drew in gasps of air.

She could feel the blood seeping from her right ear dripping into her hair as she sprinted through the undergrowth.

She was doing her damnedest to lose the men chasing her only problems being was that she couldn’t shift into her animagi form—it would take much too long and she’d be as good as dead—and she was running significant amount slower due to her injuries.

So here she was. Half dead and still moving trying her best to stay alive while running— _quite_ _literally_ —herself even closer to death.

Briefly, as she stumbled out of the trees, she realized she had stumbled into a clearing before slamming into the base of a gargantuan tree, unable to stop herself before she did so, _obviously have some sort of head injury then,_ she thought, _good to know._

Then the adrenaline stopped and an intense, blinding, pain coursed over her and she barely bit back the scream that threatened to rip from her chest.

Bracing her right shoulder against the tree she panted looking down at her arm. When she’d slammed into the tree her left arm had taken the brunt of the force, she could see where bark had wedged into her arm and where the dead skin had been ripped back to reveal angry red pulsating flesh.

She took a breath and the smell hit her full force combining with the ripping pain— _ha_ —from her arm and leg and she clawed the bottom of her mask up.

Grabbing onto the gigantic roots of the tree she leaned away from herself, throat burning as bile and acid rushed up it.

Standing once more, or at least attempting to as her right leg buckled the second she put any weight on it, she dragged her sleeve across her mouth, gagging at the taste in her mouth.

She winced as the mask _clunked_ back into place as she left her head fall back against the tree.

She leaned her back into the tree for support, breathing through her mouth in an attempt to not smell her arm again, and waited for the arrival of the men. Then, just as she began to hope that she really had lost them somehow, she heard heavy foot falls to her left—at least she thought they were coming from the left. Couldn’t really hear out of her right ear. That probably wasn’t good.—and turned her head to face them.

The men stumbled out of the tree line slowing as they entered the clearing, both of their masks missing. Now she could finally see the damage she’d done to them _._

Rowe was missing a finger, an injury she knew hadn’t come from her as he’d already had it, and had a large gash running down his thigh, that she felt a flicker of pride at.

Carroll only had one injury however. When she’d run into him earlier she had noticed how he had looked perfectly fine, no damage done to his _pretty little face_ at all.

But, now. Now nearly half of his face was missing teeth and jawbone visible where one of her hexes had ripped through him.

She felt a sickening pleasure at knowing _she_ had been the one to do that to him.

She drew up her wand, theirs also flying to attention as she did so, and shot off a wordless _petrificus totalus_ , which slammed into Rowe, before either of them could so much as blink.

“Ya do know tha’ ye will gonna get caught no ma’er wha’ ye do righ’?” She said sarcastically to Carroll, words even more accented from exhaustion, “Jus’ give up already! Your ickle _master_ already lost. Mouldy is fockin dead, mate.”

“Oh shut your mouth, you bitch!” He slurred, “I’ll fucking kill you an—“

“Mate, I cannae fockin understand ye,” she laughed, “try an speak a lil’ bi’ clearer can ye?”

Angered the man roared sending a curse hurtling towards her, she barely ducked out of the way and watched as it slammed into the tree just left of her head, marring it’s surface with a gash easily the size of the hand.

She watched with wide eyes as he drew his arm back to throw another spell towards her.

She felt panic grow inside her as she focused her wand on him, and a spell she had gotten much too used to using on these people over the years passed over her lips.

**_“AVADA KEDAVRA!”_ **

She saw his eyes go wide, for just a millisecond as he realized what was happening, and watched as one last spell flew from the top of his wand before the killing curse hit him.

She watched as he curled into himself and toppled to the ground gouged cheek facing the sky above them.

There was a rush and she felt Carroll’s last spell slam into the right side of her head, an intense rush of pain as the spell cut into her ear.

She remembered dropping to the ground back against the tree.

Remembered whispering a small _thank you_ to the tree for keeping her standing and apologizing for the harm that had come to it.

As the world faded from her she felt a soft warmth from the bark at her back and she drifted off held by the roots of the mammoth.

And that was it. Past that there was only darkness she was entrenched in currently.

At the very least it was a warm darkness. She didn’t really like the cold.

It was nice.

The darkness surged around her and Akari embraced it as the last of her thoughts drifted away.

 

———

 

Groaning Akari shuddered as she woke up.

She felt _heavy_. Like she’d been sedated.

She blearily opened her eyes, squinting as the harsh lights above her blinded her.

Turning her head—a task that was leagues more difficult than it should’ve been—she stared down at her left arm only to find it missing.

Well not missing exactly.

There was still an arm attached to her shoulder.

Still had an elbow as well.

It was just that around two inches after that still-intact-elbow there was… well there was nothing.

Where a wrist should’ve been was white bedding and where fingers should’ve gripped the sheets there wasn’t any movement at all.

_Huh. Weird._

It didn’t _feel_ like the hand wasn’t there, she could practically feel the texture of the sheets under her fingertips, but it definitely _looked_ like it wasn’t there.

Just a stump of a limb wrapped in clean stark white gauze.

Dazed, she flipped her head to stare up at the ceiling again. The blinding, boring, plain stark white ceiling.

_Why is this entire room white? Has no one here ever heard of colors?_

Speaking of here, _well thinking_ she supposed, where exactly was here?

Everything was hazy, the last thing she remembered was sitting down by a tree and falling asleep?

_Why the fuck was I by a tree?_ She wondered, bewildered.

Sniffing, she realized her hair smelt odd. _Lemon?_ That wasn’t right. The shampoo she used was rose scented.

Reaching up, with her actual still attached hand, she grabbed some of the hair dragging over to her nose, definitely lemon.

Weird.

Now that she thought about it her head felt weird too.

She reached up blindly— _obviously_ she thought _she didn't have eyes on the side of her head you silly billy—_ feeling around the side of her head slowly, mostly because well everything was moving slowly right now, and then she got to her ear.

Well. At least where her ear was supposed to be.

_I’m missing all of my bits!_ She thought.

She tried to reach a bit higher, past the gauze, _maybe her ear had moved up further?_

But then she felt a tug and lazily glanced at her arm.

_Hm._ She was chained.

Also weird.

Then a door, one she hadn’t seen as she’d been distracted by… actually what had she been distracted by? She couldn’t remember.

Well, regardless, a door in— _or was it on—_ the wall to her left swung open.

Lazily she let her head fall to her left, _oh_ _her hair was really short over here_ , and watched as a very pretty lady stepped through staring down at a chart.

“ _Excuse me, miss, but what happened to all of my bits?”_ Akari asked, then paused confused. _Was that the right language? She couldn’t tell._

The nurse looked up at her, startled. Akari could tell the pretty lady— _nurse?—_ was going to freak out.

“ _Oh , am I not supposed to be awake, yet? _ ” Akari wondered, “ _I can go back to sleep if you need me to. _ ” She waved her hand, trying to get the pretty nurses attention, but _oops_ that was the stump. _That’ll take some getting used to she thought._

“I’m very good at pretending if ye need me to!” Akari smiled, confident that was in the right language that time. And just to show that she meant it, she flopped her head back onto the pillow and evened out her breathing.

Actually, now that she thought about it, was she breathing? She couldn’t tell.

Cracking one eye open she looked back toward the very pretty nurse, _oh she has red hair! Just like Pips! I have to tell her when I next see her!_

Well anyways, she looked back towards the very pretty red-haired nurse.

The very pretty red-haired nurse was staring back at her, apparently very much in shock and very much confused.

The very pretty red-haired nurse leaned out the door and called something out to the, from what Akari could see, very dull, drab, blank stark white hall.

“ _Excuse me, Miss?_ _What are you saying _ _?_ I cannae hear ye.” _Had the nurse heard her first question?_ She really wanted to know what happened to her bits.

Akari watched as the very pretty red-haired nurse leaned back into the room looking at her cautiously. _Maybe she doesn’t know who I am?_

“ _ Hi! My _ _name_ is Akari _Angelopoulos _ _-Miyamoto._ Do you know _what happened to all of _ _my bits?” _ Akari asked, flashing her best smile. _Actually was she smiling?_ She couldn’t tell, Akari tried to reach up and feel her face to find out, but _oop that wasn’t a hand anymore_ and the chain had tightened so she couldn’t move it off the bed anymore.

Then from the door behind the very pretty red-haired nurse came another figure from the bare, clinical, bright stark white hall into the still equally white room.

This figure however wasn’t like the very pretty red-haired nurse. No no she was wearing the same white as the hall, walls, and all.

This person was wearing a wrinkled black tee shirt and equally wrinkled brown pants.

Squinting at them she let out a happy gasp as she recognized them.

Mole on his nose? Check. Poofy, curly hair that couldn’t and wouldn’t stay in place? Check. Cheekbones you could cut a bitch with? Check!

“Érotas! _Where have you been_ _?”_ She proclaimed, happily. “ _I’m very confused_ _and all of my bits are gone! _ _Do you know where they went?_ I’d really like to have them back.”

However, Max didn’t look very happy to see her. No, he looked sad, betrayed, angry, shocked, disappointed, well everything but what she expected really.

“Max? What’s wrong?”

He looked at her in disgust, sad disgust but still disgust.

He didn’t move from the doorway.

He crossed his arms in front of himself, almost like a shield, “How could you?” She could hear his voice crack, thick with unshed tears.

“What are ye talking abou’?” She asked confused.

“You’re a Death Eater.”

And then she remembered.

She remembered everything.

“No! No, you have it all wrong I’m no—,” she choked on her own breath.

_Why couldn’t she tell him she was a spy?_

And then she remembered again.

 

———

 

“Are you completely sure you want to go through with this, Ms. Angelopoulos-Miyamoto?” McGonagall questioned gently, “There is no way to undo an unbreakable vow. Once you agree if you don’t go through with it you will die.”

Akari looked to the older severe woman.

She saw a second mother, someone who had reached out to comfort a scared girl from another house who hadn’t understood why everyone talked about her brother like that.

She saw a woman hardened by war standing strong in the face of another.

She saw a person she would die for.

She smiled softly at her, “Of course, Professor. I want to help in any way I can.”

McGonagall sighed, _of course the girl would listen to Albus._

Warily, she took the young girls hand. Cursing Albus as he ghosted over to them.

Akari looked at their joined hands and felt a hard resolve settle over her. _She would help end this war_.

She watched as the tip of Dumbledore’s wand came to rest on their entwined hands, took a shaky breath as she looked up to make eye contact with her teacher.

“Will you, Akari, become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix?”

“I will.”

A silent string of flame burst from the tip of Dumbledore’s and and coiled around their forearms.

“And, will you take any measure to ensure your involvement in the Order remains secret?”

“I will.”

A second string joined the first, interlocking into a chain that ghosted over her skin.

“And, will you promise,” McGonagall took a deep, tired breath, tightening her grip on Akari’s hand, “to never reveal your position as a spy to anyone, unless I give you permission?”

Akari gave a firm nod, resolve settling in her eyes, “I will.”

A third and final strip ripped from the wand, rushing to join its sisters in their dance and clamped down onto their hands.

A vine that could never be erased.

She felt it sink into her hand heavy and strong.

She looked to McGonagall, _her eyes were so sad_ , “I’m ready.”

 

———

 

_She remembered._

  


**Author's Note:**

> jinkies guys this got long


End file.
